Chapter 29

When he opened his eyes again, it was pitch black outside. The rhythmic chirping of crickets echoed softly through the open window. Staring quietly at the moonlit sky, Alex checked his phone. He shot up from the bed. A reply had arrived from Nathan. It was from an hour ago.

—Sorry. I was working out. What’s up?

Alex stared at the text for a very long time. It had been an hour, and it was already past 10:00 PM. It was quite late.

—Nothing. Sorry for bothering you.

He typed out the message lethargically. Just as he was about to set the phone down without expecting a reply, a response buzzed through. Huh? He blinked in surprise.

—Why would you say that?

This time, he was completely flustered.

—About what?

—You’re not a bother.

Instantly, his fingertips flared with heat. He desperately bit back the smile threatening to bloom across his face. He was so undeniably thrilled that his previous foul mood felt entirely pointless.

—I’ve never felt that way.

—Thanks. Me too, Nathan.

—Is something wrong?

Nathan was answering him faithfully. Curving his eyes into thin, happy crescents, Alex mentally scolded himself. This alone was more than enough.

—No, it’s nothing. I was just going to ask if I could sleep over at your place. It’s late, so don’t worry about it.

Nathan didn’t reply for several seconds. Was that too forward? Just as he started to panic, a single sentence popped up.

—Come over. It’s late, so I’ll come out to get you. See you at the station.

He stopped himself from typing that it wasn’t necessary. After all, he wanted to see Nathan even a single second faster. Rubbing the screen as if handling something incredibly precious, Alex sprang out of bed. Hastily grabbing a change of clothes for tomorrow, he quietly slipped out of the house.

The late-night Tube was surprisingly crowded. As the train drew closer to Stepney Green Station, the stop near Nathan’s house, the number of passengers gradually thinned out.

Sitting in the cramped, stale-smelling carriage, Alex stared blankly ahead. A couple sitting side-by-side holding hands caught his eye. The woman was an Alpha, and the man was an Omega. The world of dynamics, which divided people by traits other than their physical sex, occasionally fascinated him. He wondered why such a system even existed in the world. Life would be so much simpler if things like that didn’t exist.

Hearing the recorded female announcer’s voice, Alex stepped off the train. Before stepping onto the platform, he stared intently at the gaping black gap between the train and the platform edge. Gazing at it silently, Alex finally stepped over the yellow line.

The quiet, spacious station was completely deserted. Exiting the silent, echoing oval tunnel, Alex climbed the stairs. The pitch-black night sky greeted him first. A massive, brilliant moon hung high in the sprawling expanse. It was so impossibly bright that it completely washed out the scattered stars.

And beneath that tranquil sky stood the person Alex liked. Waiting for someone as he looked down the stairs, no, waiting specifically for Alex Yeon, was Nathan.

“You’re here?”

That single sentence washed away every ounce of Alex’s sorrow. Yet, he felt a completely different kind of poignant ache in his chest. The realization that it was actually possible to love a person this intensely felt nothing short of miraculous.

“Did you wait long?”

“No.”

You are truly incredible.

“Let’s go.”

Because just looking at your face makes me happy all over again.

Alex looked up at the moon and smiled. The silver light painted his cheeks with a pale, ethereal glow. Nathan watched him silently. After slowly ascending the remaining stairs, the two began to walk quietly side by side. The soft crunch of their footsteps echoed lowly in the quiet night. With the distant chirping of insects and the night air thoroughly saturated with the scent of green leaves serving as their backdrop, the two walked for several minutes. Maintaining a gap of exactly one footstep between them, their swinging hands crossed paths in alternating rhythms.

“You can tell me if something bad happened.”

Nathan spoke softly. Alex turned his head. Nathan was looking at him quietly as well, his upward gaze calm and steady.

“I’ll listen.”

Their crossing hands began to swing in the same rhythm. The tips of their fingernails brushed against each other.

“…Then you tell me, too. I’ll always be on your side.”

At those words, Nathan offered a languid smile. His pale blond hair shimmered like silver threads beneath the moonlight. Their fingernails brushed again, and their fingers lightly grazed each other.

“No matter what I do?”

“Yeah, no matter what you do.”

“You shouldn’t make promises like that so recklessly.”

Alex thought about that for a moment. However, he was completely confident he would remain on Nathan’s side, regardless of what the other boy did.

“I mean it.”

“Alright, then.”

A low chuckle slipped out. Lately, Nathan had been smiling a lot more frequently. He seemed exactly the same as always around Tina or Jude, but he was undeniably different when he was next to Alex. Am I just imagining things?

After a few seconds of silence, Alex finally opened his mouth. It was truly the first time he had ever voiced his innermost thoughts.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this well.”

“Soccer?”

“Yeah. I’m working hard, but sometimes it feels like I’m not doing it right…”

Nathan kept his eyes fixed straight ahead, remaining silent. Their fingers brushed against each other one more time. Desperately ignoring his hyper-awareness of the contact, Alex kept his hand perfectly still in nervous anticipation.

“I’ve never seen anyone work harder than you.” Nathan finally spoke. “I don’t know much about soccer, but…”

Their brushing fingers stopped right where they touched.

“I’m sure everything will work out.”

Their index fingers slowly intertwined. Resting his twitching hand down, Alex held his breath. Nathan’s fingers leisurely wedged themselves into the gaps between his own. Their palms pressed flush together. Terrified that Nathan might feel his frantically racing pulse through their connected skin, Alex bit his lip hard, savoring the sensation. He was holding his breath, yet it felt as though his airways had finally been blown wide open.

“Even when things aren’t going well, I’ll be right here.”

Alex exhaled a long, shaky breath. Scrutinizing his slightly reddened nose, Alex nodded firmly. The two walked through the night streets holding hands exactly like that until they reached the house. Neither of them uttered the word “practice.”

Unlike Alex’s home, Nathan’s house was always immaculate and quite spacious, though it carried a distinct stillness, the quiet hallmark of a place where people rarely lingered. That very quiet was exactly why Alex loved visiting, finding comfort in one of the few things they seemed to share.

“Is your mother not home?”

“She’s working. If she’s not back by midnight, she’ll probably just sleep over at my aunt’s place.”

Tossing the keys onto the table, Nathan swapped his shoes for indoor slippers. The hands they had been holding the entire way home naturally separated. His fingers twitching with an overwhelming surge of regret, Alex followed closely behind Nathan. Walking into the kitchen, Nathan turned to ask him a question.

“Want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah, sounds great. What do you want to watch?”

Just hearing the question made him giddy with excitement. Aside from continuing their shared console game campaigns, this was the very first time they were going to watch a movie just the two of them. The lingering regret of having to let go of Nathan’s hand completely evaporated at that single inquiry.

“Popcorn?”

Reaching toward the upper cabinets, Nathan glanced back over his shoulder. Alex nodded enthusiastically. The bags of popcorn were stored on the highest shelf. Alex immediately stepped right next to Nathan.

“I’ll get it for you.”

Reaching past Nathan’s extended arm, Alex snagged the popcorn bag. Nathan scrunched his eyes slightly, staring intently at Alex. A brief silence settled over them. Holding the popcorn bag carefully, Alex tried to read his expression. Was he offended, similar to when Alex tried to hold the umbrella for him?

“You.”

Alex waited for Nathan’s words with a rapidly beating heart.

“If I get bigger than you later…”

“…Yeah?”

“I won’t let you lift a single finger to do anything.”

Alex had to fight with every fiber of his being to maintain a serious expression and keep from laughing out loud. It was such a ridiculously cute threat that it rendered all his nervous anticipation completely pointless.

“Like what?”

Nathan slowly reached out. He gently wrapped his hand around the wrist of the arm holding the popcorn bag. He had felt it every time they held hands, but contrary to his delicate appearance, Nathan’s hands were surprisingly firm and long. Every time he realized that, an inexplicable shiver ran through a corner of his body. It was a little unfamiliar, and a little…

“Everything you’ve been doing for me.”