Chapter 28

Have I ever been this happy in my entire life?

Walking toward the bus stop after practice, Alex stared blankly at his wrist, where the white wristband circling his right arm made his spirits soar to an incredible high. It felt like absolute magic; even when his mind was completely blank, merely looking at the fabric made his stomach flutter with nervous energy.

The entire world around him felt brilliantly illuminated, as if he were standing beneath a blossoming tree, watching petals flip to reveal their bellies as they drifted to the ground. He still couldn’t believe Nathan had given him a gift.

His steps toward the bus stop were buoyant and light. A foolish grin slipped out as Nathan’s face floated into his thoughts, and swallowing the small smile tugging at his lips, he steadied his breathing.

Everything seemed absurdly perfect. During the last friendly match, he had played as a starter for the first string. The coach, evidently impressed by his performance, told him they would keep an eye on him until the league opener. It had all happened so suddenly. Even knowing it was more than he deserved, Alex dared to hope this profound happiness would last forever.

Arriving at the bus stop, Alex fiddled with his phone. Telling himself not to get his hopes up, he checked for texts. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing from Nathan. The other boy rarely checked his phone anyway. A brief wave of disappointment washed over him, but his mood instantly lifted as he recalled the recent events with Nathan.

A specific hypothetical he had been obsessing over these past few days abruptly sprang to mind.

Maybe Nathan… actually likes me.

Just formulating the sentence in his head made him so embarrassed he shook his head frantically to clear it. Jumping to conclusions was strictly forbidden. Aside from their “practice” sessions, he had never held hands with Nathan. Plus, Nathan had explicitly stated he only liked Betas, and his own confession had been…

However, his endless stream of thoughts was severed by someone calling out to him. Alex lifted his head.

“Taking the bus, huh?”

It was David Mack. Alex scrunched one eye slightly as he looked at the boy, who was wearing their school uniform, a very familiar sight.

Only then did Alex remember that David Mack attended the same school. Having played soccer since childhood, David was nominally enrolled in the Sixth Form College, but unlike Alex, his attendance rate was abysmally low. Alex had practically forgotten they went to the same school since they never crossed paths in the hallways.

“Yeah.”

Not wanting to outright ignore him, Alex offered a clipped response. David Mack didn’t seem to mind the bluntness. Sweeping a hand through his swept-back blond hair, he struck up the conversation again.

“Where do you live?”

“Around Zone 2.”

“You’re pretty cold. You’re never like this with Nathan White.”

Alex furrowed his brow at the sudden mention of Nathan’s name.

“What?”

“Why so defensive?”

“Why are you bringing up his name?”

“He’s famous, isn’t he? And you guys hang out together.”

David Mack simply shrugged nonchalantly, a genial smile plastered across his face. Phrased like that, Alex really had nothing to say. Still, an unwarranted surge of defensiveness spiked within him. Perhaps it was the petty possessiveness typical of an Alpha, but the feeling was undeniable. David merely smiled as he observed Alex’s guarded expression.

“He does look like an Omega, but… you two aren’t dating, right?”

Alex’s breath caught in his throat. Letting out an offended sigh, he straightened his posture and grabbed the duffel bag he had set on the ground. The soccer cleats strapped to his feet, clad in white socks, shifted directions.

“I’m leaving.”

“Aren’t you being a bit too paranoid? I’m just worried about you, man. If you want to go pro, you need to think about your reputation. Do you have any idea how obsessed the paparazzi are with pro players who have weird dynamic preferences?”

David’s voice was completely calm. The matter-of-fact tone caused Alex’s footsteps to falter. He had never actually considered that aspect. He aimed to go pro, sure, but stuck on the second-string team, he had never realistically envisioned a future swarming with paparazzi. Furthermore, he had never genuinely believed he would end up dating Nathan. He might have desperately wished for it deep down, but he hadn’t even harbored the courage to confess.

However, the recent Nathan was different. He kept leaving the door open, tempting Alex to get greedy. It was enough to make him want to completely disregard the dynamics he had been so hyper-aware of and confess properly.

If we actually get together, and the media exposure ends up hurting Nathan…?

Reaching that thought, Alex shook his head. It was something that hadn’t even happened yet. Besides, the chances of him actually going pro were incredibly slim anyway.

“It’s not like I can go pro just because I want to. And it’s none of your business.”

Alex entirely dismissed David’s hypothetical, annoyed that he had almost been needlessly swayed. It was incredibly suspicious that a guy who had barely spoken two words to him was suddenly showing such keen interest. At the firm rejection, David crossed his arms, tapping his own arm a few times with his index finger before offering a smooth smile.

“Well, going pro really depends on how you play your cards.”

“I’m working hard.”

“It was pretty great playing together this time, wasn’t it?”

David deliberately changed the subject. This was the first time they had ever held an actual conversation, but Alex quickly realized he was an incredibly unpredictable person, the type who always tried to steer situations exactly the way he wanted. Liam’s warning suddenly echoed in his mind.

“What about it?”

“Do me one favor, and I’ll tell the coach I want to keep playing with you.”

Alex stared quietly at David before shaking his head.

“No, I’m good.”

If he didn’t climb the ranks through his own merit, it was ultimately pointless. Even if he secured a spot through a backdoor deal, he would just fall right back down. As Alex tried to walk away, David grabbed his arm.

“Do you really think talent alone is enough? Sure, there might be a few geniuses like that. But by that logic, the world should be overflowing with successful people. It only happens when luck and opportunity align. Don’t be an idiot. I’m advising you for your own good, so listen to me.”

“Since when did you ever care about me enough to do this? We’ve barely even spoken before.” Alex viciously swatted David’s hand away, firing back aggressively.

David simply laughed. “It’s not a difficult favor. It’ll benefit you, too.”

“Not interested. I’m leaving.”

“Message me on Facebook if you change your mind.”

David raised both hands in a placating gesture and took a step back. Alex’s mind was a chaotic mess.

Glaring silently at David, he shook his head and finally turned away.

Fiddling with the wristband, Alex rode the Tube back home. He had run out of water and groceries, so he needed to pick up a few things. Stopping by Sainsbury’s, he grabbed various essentials.

The harsh reality he had been blissfully ignoring thanks to his happiness with Nathan came crashing back down after his encounter with David, dragging his mood straight into the gutter.

He missed Nathan. He felt like everything would be fine as long as he was with him. Calm and composed, Nathan was remarkably good at offering helpful advice, and simply being near him had a profoundly soothing effect.

The balance on his debit card was a mere £20. The time had come for him to ask his father for his allowance. He poured every waking hour he could have spent working a part-time job into soccer, and even if he wanted to work, his father would throw an absolute fit. He was spending his father’s money, but he never once felt at ease doing so.

If he kept bleeding money like this only to end up as a nameless, failed soccer player without any achievements…

With a depressed sigh, Alex tossed some ground pork, water, mushrooms, and a bag of garden salad into his basket. Managing his diet was one thing, but the financial burden of spending extra money was so heavy he couldn’t even remember the last time he bought a snack. Standing in front of a display stacked with chocolate bars, Alex hesitated for several seconds before finally turning away. It was better to spend that money on laundry detergent.

After packing the groceries into his bag, Alex trudged sluggishly toward his house. The sky was stained a bleeding crimson, and a desolate silence draped over the streets. Yearning for warmth, Alex rubbed his left hand, the one Nathan had held, with his other hand before letting it drop.

His father hadn’t come home for the past few days. Even when he did, he returned late, drank himself to sleep, and only left for work after Alex had already gone to school. They practically never saw each other.

Alex wondered if he should text him if he wasn’t home today either, but there were shoes in the entryway.

The moment he opened the front door, the sound of something shattering echoed violently through the house. The stale, musty air was thick with the suffocating stench of cheap alcohol.

Alex froze in the entryway. A sharply honed, volatile pheromone spiked in the air, instantly paralyzing his hands. Things had been relatively peaceful for a while, but this razor-sharp tension was something Alex had endured for years. Whenever his father fought with his mother or had a bad day at work, he always acted like this. He threw things, smashed doors with his fists, and screamed bloody murder. As his drinking worsened, the symptoms only intensified.

Still clutching his bag, Alex was just about to turn around and slip back out the door when a room door violently swung open.

“What the hell were you doing to come home this late!”

The cracked, raspy voice was rough and menacing. Alex clamped his mouth shut. It was only 7:00 PM. Instead of explaining that he had just finished practice and gone grocery shopping, Alex pivoted his words to avoid provoking the man’s volatile temper.

“I’m sorry.”

However, that approach didn’t seem particularly effective today. Stomping over to Alex, his father glared at him before spitting out a vicious curse and ruthlessly striking Alex across the head. Taking the blow from a man physically smaller than himself, Alex kept his mouth firmly shut.

“Pathetic bastard. I pour all that money into you, and why isn’t there any good news? Are you even putting in any real effort?”

He was struck across the head again. With every single word the man spewed, the nauseating stench of alcohol assaulted his senses. Rather than feeling angry, Alex just felt incredibly hollow. This bleak reality. His own life.

“Should we just fucking die together? Yeah, it’d be better if we both just died. Yeah, let’s do that.”

Alex had no idea what had happened, but the man, unable to contain his blinding rage, screamed at the top of his lungs before violently spinning around and marching toward the kitchen. At the word ‘die,’ Alex’s brow contorted. He desperately grabbed the thrashing man’s arm, whispering frantically. His pleading voice was absolutely wretched.

“I’m sorry, I was wrong. Dad, please, just wait a little longer. If I do well, I might be able to debut this time…!”

“Let go, fuck!”

“Please, Dad. I’m really, really sorry.”

The man couldn’t overpower Alex’s physical strength. Even knowing the situation was entirely fucked up, Alex just felt profoundly sad. The reality that the father who used to carry him on his back and smile so brightly no longer smiled at all. This relationship, where he couldn’t even guarantee a single day of ordinary happiness.

After throwing a massive tantrum, the man finally stormed back into his room, panting heavily. Alex simply sat down in the living room, keeping watch just in case his father tried to do something dangerous to end his own life. Sitting on the floor beneath the sofa, he pulled his knees to his chest and buried his forehead against them, completely emptying his mind.

Hours later, Alex carefully nudged his father’s bedroom door open. The man was fast asleep. The liquor bottles scattered across the floor were completely empty.

Closing the door silently, Alex checked the refrigerator and cupboards. There was no alcohol left. It would be fine for now. The intense knot of anxiety that had been keeping him completely on edge finally began to loosen slightly.

Ah, I didn’t put the groceries away.

Operating like a machine, Alex pulled the items from his bag and shoved them into the fridge.

He had zero appetite. After drinking a single cup of water, he retreated to his room. Perched on the edge of his bed, Alex turned his head and stared out the window. The scenery outside was impeccably peaceful, yet his heart was burning to black ash. He had never actively wanted to die, but today just felt overwhelmingly suffocating. A heavy lethargy washed over him.

He missed Nathan.

He pressed the heels of his palms hard against his bloodshot eyes. After rubbing his dry, stinging eyes, he pulled out his phone. Exhaling a ragged, shaky breath, he gripped the device desperately with both hands. After hesitating for a long time, Alex typed out a single sentence without expecting much. He opened his messenger app.

—Nathan, are you busy?

The reply didn’t come quickly. Half-lying on his bed, Alex stared blankly at his phone. The conversation he had with David Mack before coming home spun dizzyingly in his head. Paparazzi, going pro, a favor, an opportunity…

The new season would kick off in a month. When autumn arrived, a new semester would begin, and once his final semester concluded, he would legally be an adult. He couldn’t burden his father anymore.

Sometimes, he was terrified. He had no idea how the household was functioning financially. Whenever he asked about money or the business, his father would simply snap that he didn’t need to know, insisting that he was the one taking care of the family.

Do I just not have any talent?

He had always suspected he lacked natural ability, but he was terrified of actually acknowledging that reality. He often thought that if he truly had no talent, it would be better to just give up and quit early. But he didn’t want to disappoint his father. Because his father was the only person truly on his side. Because his father hadn’t abandoned him.

He didn’t want to be abandoned. Even knowing it wasn’t a healthy environment, he just wanted to hold on. The thought of being completely alone terrified him.

With his eyebrows curving sadly, Alex lifted his phone. Rubbing the slightly cracked screen at the bottom, he opened Facebook. He scrolled through the group chat created for the soccer team members and found David Mack. Logically, he hadn’t actually done anything wrong, yet he felt profoundly dirty.

However, his father’s happiness was far more important than his own lofty pride.

—What’s the favor?

Without even a basic greeting, Alex typed out that single sentence and hit send. As if he had been waiting, David Mack replied almost instantly.

—I’ll tell you later. You’re going to thank me.

Another speech bubble popped up.

—Welcome aboard. You’re going to be a good midfielder.

It was something he should have been thrilled about, yet he felt absolutely no joy. Staring blankly at the messages with an empty expression, he soon drifted off into an exhausted sleep.

☂