Chapter 40

The arcade at the tourist spot was significantly larger than the small ones in central London. Alex scanned the list of prizes available for ticket redemption and turned to Nathan. They’d managed to collect quite a few tickets over the last hour, and since he’d received the wristband, Alex desperately wanted to give Nathan something in return, however small.

“Is there anything you want?”

“No.”

I figured, Alex thought, his shoulders slumping as he stared at the prize display. He’d seen girls ask for stuffed animals in places like this, but if Nathan hated them, the prizes were worthless.

“That one’s cute, though,” Nathan said abruptly.

Alex’s eyes widened as he followed Nathan’s gaze. There, sitting on a shelf, was a stuffed dog, a cute husky plushie.

“The dog?”

“Yeah.”

Alex checked the price; it was 500 points. He hurriedly checked his tickets. He had exactly 550. His face lit up instantly.

“Let’s get that one, then.”

Nathan let out a silent chuckle. Alex handed over the bundle of pink tickets and received the plushie. It was a decent size, not too small, and it had a nice weight to it when held. Alex felt a surge of nervous excitement, despite being embarrassed to give such a trivial gift.

“Here you go, Nathan.”

“Thanks.”

Nathan quietly took the toy. In that moment, Alex felt a lump form in his throat. Nathan looked ridiculously cute and beautiful holding the plushie, so much so that Alex’s eyes actually stung with unshed tears. His heart hammered against his ribs. He was certain that if he searched the entire world, he would never find anyone as beautiful as the boy standing in front of him.

“Do you think we should name it?” Alex asked as they walked out of the arcade, fully aware of how childish the question was.

The sky had grown quite dark, the sea stained a brilliant orange where it met the setting sun. Purple clouds drifted lazily overhead. He saw people heading toward the pubs near the pier for dinner.

“It already has a name,” Nathan replied.

He’d actually answered Alex’s question, and apparently he already had a name picked out. Alex couldn’t contain his curiosity. “What is it?”

“Alex.”

Wait, that’s basically my name…

“…Am I a dog to you?”

“Yeah.” Nathan said it as if it were a self-evident truth. Alex debated whether being compared to a dog was a compliment.

“You’re cute, after all.”

Alex decided once again that Nathan had very strange taste.

He’d never been called cute in his life. He’d always thought “handsome” or “cool” were the right words for him, and that “cute” simply didn’t fit his appearance. But he could never hate anything Nathan said to him. Struggling for a response, Alex eventually just gave a shy nod.

They left the pier and began walking along the beach with no particular destination. It was already 9:00 p.m. Although they both knew they needed to head back soon to catch the last train, neither of them brought it up. The only sound was the crunch of pebbles beneath their feet.

Alex stared down at his shoes as he listened to the rhythm of the waves rolling in and out. He didn’t want to go back.

He’d been having such an incredible day that he’d managed to forget everything else. But he knew that as soon as he returned to London, his bleak home life, his father, and David Mack would all be waiting for him. He had so many unresolved problems.

His high spirits slowly began to sink, replaced by a wave of gloom. He turned around to look back at the shore. Beneath the darkening sky, the lights of the pier sparkled like flowers blooming in the night. Nathan, who had been watching Alex scan the landscape, came to a halt.

“Alex.”

Alex turned to him. Nathan was staring directly into his eyes. Everything around them was silent.

“Did you think of the answer?”

Ah.

Alex’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected Nathan to bring it up first. He felt his body begin to tremble. His throat went tight with sudden, overwhelming tension. A cool breeze brushed against the back of his neck. Even without any experience, Alex knew that this moment was going to change their relationship forever.

A wave of fear washed over him. For all the years he’d spent being in love with Nathan, he had never once dared to imagine that the boy would actually be his. He remained silent for a long moment before finally forcing the words out.

“…I did.”

Nathan drew closer. He slowly closed the two-foot gap between them until the toes of his white canvas shoes touched Alex’s sneakers. They were so close Alex could hear the sound of his breathing. His heart plummeted, just as it had when Nathan reached past him on the sofa.

“Tell me,” Nathan whispered. His blinking lashes looked like the wings of a butterfly.

Alex’s breath hitched. He fought down the lump in his throat and finally parted his lips.

“Do you… like me?”

His voice came out as a ragged, shaky breath. He had no idea what kind of expression he was making. Nathan tilted his head up and stared at him intently. He slowly raised his pale hand and touched Alex’s cheek. His face drew closer and closer, narrowing the tiny remaining gap between them.

“Yeah.”

The answer was simple and blunt, exactly as he always spoke. But those calm words were Alex’s undoing. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, unable to believe what he was hearing. It felt surreal. Nathan’s fingers moved from Alex’s cheek to his lips.

“I like you.”

Alex let out a sharp gasp and parted his lips at the unfamiliar sensation against them. His mind went utterly blank. Nathan’s hand slid from his lips to the nape of his neck. Alex didn’t move. He stood frozen, watching in a daze as Nathan leaned in.

“A lot.”