Chapter 72

Alex’s resolve to stay calm proved hollow the moment he opened his eyes at precisely seven o’clock. Though it was his usual hour to wake, sleep vanished instantly, replaced by a jarring, crystalline clarity. The realization that in a matter of hours he would be engaging in that kind of intimacy with Nathan made it impossible to remain in bed.

His heart hammered against his ribs, but the biting chill of the room offered a small, grounding mercy. With the radiator switched off, the cold had seeped into every corner. He threw back the duvet, his skin erupting in goosebumps as the frigid air bit at his bare flesh, and stepped onto the wooden floor. The dry friction against his soles jolted his senses fully awake.

Alex spent three times his usual duration in the shower, scrubbing himself with a hand that refused to stop trembling. Choosing his outfit became another ordeal; though his wardrobe was modest, he agonized over his best pieces. He initially laid out a suit he rarely wore, only to be paralyzed by the fear that he would look like he was trying too hard.

Am I being too conscious?

Driven to near madness by indecision, he finally settled on his everyday uniform: black trousers and a simple white sweater. By the time he regained his composure, it was already ten o’clock. With less than three hours remaining, his pulse spiked again, and he quickly searched for directions to The Connaught, a journey of less than an hour.

As Alex looked around the hotel, he suddenly realized something important. Or rather, he became aware of something he hadn’t consciously considered before: the hotel was outrageously expensive. Faced with this unexpected obstacle, Alex widened his eyes and checked the prices again.

The nicest place he had ever stayed in during his life was a Holiday Inn. He had never seen anywhere like this, where a single night’s stay came close to £450, and a same-day booking like today’s would easily exceed £800. That sum alone could cover his rent and groceries for an entire month.

The fact that Nathan had designated such a place without a second thought made the chasm between them feel visceral. They truly existed in different worlds now.

One occupied by an Oxford-educated physician who utilized luxury hotels with effortless ease, and the other by a man like Alex.

He realized then that even if they hadn’t parted so tragically, a future together would have been impossible; the gap was simply too vast.

This brief entanglement is likely a stroke of luck I’ll never see again, he thought, swallowing the bitterness.

He checked his bank balance, calculating that after his monthly debts and utilities, he could manage if he used his credit card and cut his food budget to the bone. Since Nathan was the one making the sacrifice for his sake, Alex felt it was only right that he bear the cost. When framed as a medical expense, the price felt almost justifiable.

By the time he had finished processing these gloomy thoughts, it was time to leave. He checked his hair and clothes one last time, steeled his nerves, and locked his door.

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