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Vol.2 - Story 6: Mind the gap (1)
Chapter 62
Clutching the carton of juice, Alex walked out of the hospital.
Like a fool, he had left his umbrella somewhere, likely near the lab. He decided to just walk into the rain. Going back for it meant potentially running into Nathan again. Besides, a little rain wouldn’t kill him. He rarely got sick unless he was in the middle of a Rut.
The fine drizzle slowly soaked through his clothes, turning cold against his skin. He walked with his eyes fixed ahead, lost in thought.
It’s fine.
Now he knew exactly what Nathan wanted.
Alex stood at the bus stop, having wandered aimlessly for a while, and stared blankly at the passing cars and the people on the opposite sidewalk.
He had lived for nine years without seeing him; never meeting him again was nothing out of the ordinary. Even if they continued to see each other, it wasn’t as if they would ever become something again. Their relationship was beyond repair. He had been an idiot for trying to solve a problem that had no answer.
The bus finally arrived thirty minutes later. Alex squeezed onto the crowded vehicle, ignoring the passengers grumbling at the driver, and spent another thirty minutes traveling to the stop near his flat. By the time he walked the final stretch to his door, the rain had intensified, the heavy drops stinging as they hammered against his scalp. When he finally opened his apartment door, he was drenched to the bone.
Water dripped from his forehead and gathered on his eyelashes. Alex wiped his face with the back of his hand and set his bag down. He knew he needed to strip and shower, but he simply leaned against the entryway door and looked at his hand. He was still clutching the crushed carton of juice.
With hands turned cold, he tore the straw from the packaging and peeled off the plastic. He lined up the sharp end with the silver foil circle and punched it through with a small pop. He slowly put the straw to his lips and took a sip. The sweetness spread across his tongue, the exact kind of flavor he loved, yet it brought him no joy.
In truth, Alex had never liked the cloying, slightly floral scent of lychee. The only reason he had ever drank it was because he loved the way Nathan looked whenever he had some. He loved the way Nathan’s features would soften as he enjoyed his favorite drink. And the way Nathan would offer his pale hand and ask, “Want a sip?”
I wish someone would tell me. Please, someone tell me how to forget you.
He couldn’t finish the drink.
Alex set the half-empty carton by the door and slowly walked into the bathroom. After washing in lukewarm water, he collapsed into bed, too exhausted to even dry his hair.
The next morning, Alex’s Rut arrived, accompanied by a devastating case of the flu. He realized he didn’t have any cold medicine. With his mind hazy with fever, Alex pulled the duvet over his face.
Just before he drifted back into an uneasy sleep, he found himself wishing he would simply never wake up.
☂