Chapter 60

The framework of the case shifted slightly.

To the theory of a lone wolf, they added the possibility of organized crime. The severe mutilation of the bodies to hide their identities, combined with the evidence of rape found on all the victims, lent weight to the theory. Given that the final cause of death was strangulation, a new hypothesis emerged: the victims were being used as subjects for hardcore, paraphilic pornography.

Furthermore, the Commissioner seemed to prefer the idea of a mafia connection over the politically charged motive of a lone serial killer targeting Betas out of hatred. London was always struggling with various international crime syndicates, making it a more “manageable” narrative.

After getting his leave approved by Inspector Janice, Alex spent the day working with Matthew to track the distribution of Ferrin. While Matthew identified all the potential black market sources, Alex made calls to every hospital and research lab in the city. With over twenty facilities to contact, the sun was beginning to set by the time he finished organizing the logs.

As the chills grew worse, Alex knew the Rut would begin in earnest tonight. He swallowed another suppressant and began to pack his things. Outside, the rain continued its relentless, wearying assault. He stared at the downpour for a moment before snapping out of it and leaving the precinct. If he didn’t hurry, the shops would be closed.

Since he intended to do some research during his forced time off, he had brought a bag today. Alex slung it over one shoulder and zipped his black windbreaker all the way to his chin. Dressed in casual clothes for once, he found it much easier to move. His old white trainers were quickly soaked by the rain.

He stopped at a Co-op within walking distance of the station and picked up some basic supplies: potatoes, red onions, minced meat, and a few frozen meals. He wandered aimlessly into another aisle, briefly debated buying laundry detergent, and decided he had enough for now.

As he walked past the room-temperature juices, his feet came to a sudden halt. He slowly turned his head. His gaze landed on a small, 250ml carton. Lychee juice.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Alex directed a genuine, venomous curse at himself. He was so incredibly sick of his own lingering attachments he felt like he could choke. He let out a long, weary sigh and shook his head, prepared to walk away. But his feet refused to move. Please, he begged himself, squeezing his eyes shut.

Minutes passed, yet Alex remained rooted to the spot. Finally, his hand shot out and snatched the juice from the shelf. He grabbed a six-pack.

Feeling utterly wretched, Alex finished his shopping and headed for the bus stop. As he shoved the bulky bag of groceries into his backpack, his phone rang. He frowned, balancing his umbrella between his shoulder and his ear as he pulled out the device. It was Inspector Janice.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

—Alex, could you stop by Royal London on your way home? The Research Director is back. He said he has more information to share, and you’re the only one available right now.

Alex checked his watch. It was 8:00 PM. He wondered if the doctor was still on shift; he knew nothing of the facility’s internal schedule. He couldn’t tell if he was more afraid of seeing Nathan or more eager to catch another glimpse of him.

“Yes, Ma’am. I’m on my way.”

Knowing the bus would take too long, Alex decided to take the Tube. He couldn’t remember the last time he had used it.

The District Line, packed with people in damp coats, was far from pleasant. The humid, stagnant air was thick with a faint, underlying stench.

Alex stood in the back of the carriage, head bowed, enduring the twenty-minute ride.

It felt strange to remember that he had once loved these cramped spaces and rainy days. He marvelled at how a single person’s presence could transform one’s life into either a heaven or a hell. And that he had been the one to push that person away. It was a choice he still couldn’t understand.

Logically, he knew that everyone makes mistakes, that he had no adult to guide him, and that anyone at that age is prone to poor judgment. But the consequences of that mistake were too heavy to bear. He had wounded the person he loved most in the world. That was the part Alex couldn’t endure. He simply couldn’t forgive himself.

☂