Chapter Index

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Relationships were difficult.

Not once in his life had he felt they were easy. Friendships fell apart because someone was too easygoing, too nice, or too boring, yet being a pushover was equally disastrous. At the same time, one couldn’t be aggressive or negative. Everyone else seemed to find the middle ground effortlessly, but Alex Yeon could not.

Despite his tall stature, handsome features, and status on the soccer team, he struggled to truly connect with anyone. Around his athletic peers, he had to act like a typical alpha, and to maintain that fabricated image, he had to behave the same way outside of practice.

He ended up getting hurt when he never intended to hurt anyone, and his words were constantly twisted away from his true intentions. Through repeated missteps, Alex realized he was deeply flawed at social interactions. Whether it stemmed from his family environment or his innate personality, neither served as a valid excuse.

In that sense, Nathan was the only person he could rely on. Nathan didn’t care about much. He paid no mind to rumors or gossip and rarely took offense. To put it harshly, he was an indifferent person, but that wasn’t entirely true either. After all, he had stayed by Alex’s side when he was crying. He had even met Tina and Jude after they became friends with Nathan.

Therefore, the wisest course of action was to remain Nathan’s friend for a very long time. I only need Nathan.

“Do you need anything else?” Nathan asked, clad in a loose t-shirt and black pants. Having just finished his shower, the air around him carried a damp, fragrant scent. Desperately ignoring the strange stimulation it provoked, Alex shook his head. Thanks to Nathan fetching some clothes that used to belong to his older brothers, Alex was also dressed comfortably.

“Let’s go to sleep, then.”

The heart constantly attaches meaning to trivial things. It layers delusions of a special relationship over perfectly literal words.

However, Alex reined in his feelings more fiercely than usual. He needed to sever these lingering attachments and the solitary hopes he harbored. Nathan had stated he didn’t want to date anyone who wasn’t a beta, and Alex had no desire to lose him over a reckless confession.

His feelings probably weren’t even that deep. It could just be admiration, or perhaps his father was right, and it was nothing more than a fleeting teenage crush.

“So, where should I sleep?” he asked, steeling his resolve and speaking quite seriously.

Nathan looked at him with a puzzled expression. “In my room.” He answered as if Alex had asked something glaringly obvious.

It was Alex who was taken aback. “Y-Your room?” It was the third time he had stuttered today. Why did he act like this in front of Nathan when he could speak so smoothly in front of everyone else?

“We always do.”

“Back then, Tina and the other kids were here too, so there weren’t enough rooms…”

Nathan raised an eyebrow, looking slightly displeased. Alex’s chest grew tight with frustration. Nathan couldn’t possibly understand how agonizing it was to suppress the inappropriate fantasies that threatened to surface whenever they were together. Looking so beautiful, completely oblivious to what others were thinking…

Stopping that train of thought, Alex shook his head again. “I’ll sleep somewhere else.”

Nathan seemed to ponder something for a few seconds before nodding slowly. “Suit yourself.”

His voice dropped. The subtle hint of a pout in his tone was so cute that Alex smiled without realizing it. Unclenching his slightly trembling fingers, he reached out and touched Nathan’s hair. The strands were just as soft as they looked. Nathan, who detested being touched by others, allowed Alex to mess with his hair, a privilege he solely granted to his friends.

“I’ll make you banana pancakes tomorrow morning to make up for it,” Alex whispered carefully, as if handling a small, skittish animal.

Nathan blinked. “Is that a bribe?”

“Yeah. Will you let it slide?”

The strangely irritated expression on his face gradually smoothed out. A dry chuckle slipped past his lips. “Good night.”

With that farewell, Alex pulled his hand back. Nathan turned around first. Alex stared for a long time at the pale ankles visible beneath the loose black pants as they stepped across the floor and walked away. Only after the sound of the door closing did he realize he had forgotten to ask something important. Because his fever had slowly started returning after his shower, he had forgotten to ask if there was any cold medicine.

I’ll be fine.

It had been a while, but he had taken medicine earlier in the day. He was naturally robust, so a good night’s sleep would surely cure him. After all, endurance was his greatest asset on the soccer pitch. The mere thought of soccer suddenly filled him with a heavy sense of dread. The coach still hadn’t mentioned anything about the first-string roster replacements they had discussed last time, and his father was demanding results.

If I just work hard, I’ll at least be average, right?

He shook his head, breaking free from his daze. He didn’t want to think about anything while he was at Nathan’s house. If he had to return to reality anyway, he wanted to delay it for as long as possible. Staring at the dark, silent hallway, Alex finally turned around.

☂

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