Chapter 16

“Wow, really?” Tina gasped, sounding genuinely shocked by the revelation.

Instead of feeling bashful or shy, a sickening, suffocating weight settled violently in Alex’s stomach. Desperately ignoring Jessica’s cloying voice drifting faintly from the food line, Alex reluctantly reached out toward Jude’s screen.

“Who catches your eye here?” Jude asked eagerly.

Alex slowly swiped through the gallery.

There were several undeniably cute, genuinely pretty Omegas. However, every single one of them was female. Alex froze in blatant shock. For reasons he couldn’t entirely explain, he had subconsciously, automatically assumed she would be showing him guys.

In the hazy, undefined depths of his imagination, the hypothetical Omega Jude was supposed to introduce him to was male, with vibrant blond hair and striking… green eyes.

“Are there any guys?” Alex asked quietly.

“Ah!” Jude let out a sharp gasp of sudden realization. “Oh, right! I’m so sorry! I don’t actually know many male Omegas personally, so I only pulled up the girls who have explicitly told me they like you. But if I really dig around, I’m sure I can find some!”

“Do you prefer guys, Alex?” Tina asked, a teasing, highly amused smile playing on her lips as if she had just unearthed a fascinating secret.

The question made the tips of his ears burn. He had never engaged in casual conversations about his ‘ideal type’ with anyone before, so this entire topic was deeply uncharted territory. Desperate to mask his profound embarrassment, he aggressively furrowed his brow.

“Not necessarily,” he mumbled defensively.

Right as they were navigating this horrifyingly awkward topic, Nathan returned to the table. Jessica was balancing a tray laden with cauliflower, the soup of the day, and a massive slice of strawberry cake. Nathan’s own tray held nothing but a meager rye bread sandwich and a grilled tomato.

“What are you guys talking about?” Nathan asked, taking his seat.

Flashing a wickedly mischievous grin, Tina glanced at Alex before immediately selling him out. “Alex says he wants to be set up with a male Omega.”

In that exact, agonizing second, Alex was overwhelmed by a violent, desperate urge to completely disappear from the face of the earth. He wanted nothing more than to bolt from the table. Even though he knew with absolute certainty that Nathan possessed zero interest in the topic, he felt suffocatingly, horrifyingly hyper-aware of the Beta’s presence. He felt exactly like a criminal who had just been caught committing a terrible sin.

His earlobes burned so fiercely they physically stung. Squeezing his eyes shut in pure agony, Alex violently turned his head away.

“Oh my god, really?” Jessica chimed in, her voice dripping with blatant, unexpected enthusiasm.

Through his lowered gaze, Alex caught sight of her hand firmly intertwined with Nathan’s. He hadn’t even taken a single bite of food, yet he felt violently, sickeningly nauseous. Until today, Nathan had never once brought Jessica, or any of his previous girlfriends for that matter, to hang out with their specific friend group.

Which inherently meant that Alex had never actually been forced to witness Nathan acting like a boyfriend.

Because Nathan was notoriously cold and indifferent, Alex had foolishly assumed he wouldn’t be particularly affectionate with his partners, and therefore wouldn’t engage in public displays of affection. If he had just thought about it logically, it was a perfectly normal, entirely expected progression for a couple, yet he had been too blindingly stupid to even anticipate it. Nathan White, willingly holding hands, locking arms, and kissing someone else.

A sharp, stabbing pain twisted violently beneath his ribs, exactly as if he had taken a brutal kick to the solar plexus.

Why exactly did he bring Jessica here today? Was it because of what I said yesterday? Was it to definitively prove that my confession, that I ‘used to’ like him, meant absolutely nothing? Does he explicitly want me to see this?

“I actually know quite a few male Omegas. If you want, I can introduce you to some. Is that cool with you, Nate?” Jessica offered brightly.

Listening to her sickeningly sweet voice, Alex slowly, agonizingly lifted his gaze. Nathan’s expression remained perfectly unchanged. It was the exact same, devastatingly apathetic face of a boy who simply didn’t care.

That face broke Alex’s heart.

He realized in that moment that he would have vastly preferred it if Nathan had brought Jessica here with malicious intent. It would have been infinitely better than the agonizing reality that his desperate, soul-baring confession yesterday had meant so little to Nathan that it didn’t even warrant a reaction.

“Sounds fine to me,” Nathan replied evenly.

The second that completely indifferent answer fell from Nathan’s lips, Alex forced his eyes into a tight, agonizing crinkle and smiled.

“Really?”

He responded to Nathan’s words purely out of deeply ingrained habit. Because, above absolutely anyone else in the world, Alex had always made it a point to answer Nathan.

“You said you wanted to be introduced to someone,” Nathan pointed out flatly.

“I guess I did,” Alex murmured, his voice barely audible.

He had hit his absolute limit. He knew with terrifying certainty that if he stayed and forced himself to speak even one more word, he would completely lose the ability to maintain his fake smile. He sucked in a massive, trembling breath.

It’s fine. This will pass.

“I don’t really have much of an appetite, so I’m gonna get going first,” Alex announced abruptly, shoving his chair back and standing up.

Four pairs of eyes instantly snapped toward him. Looking down at the four Betas who existed in a world so entirely disconnected from his own, Alex felt like a complete, utter alien.

“Are you okay, Alex?” Tina asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.

He flashed her a sloppy, unconvincing smile and immediately turned his back. He couldn’t even manage to offer a simple apology to Jude for ruining the setup she had been so excited about. He simply didn’t possess the mental bandwidth to stop and exchange pleasantries.

Shoving open the heavy cafeteria doors, he marched out into the hallway with massive, desperate strides. However, just as he broke into a frantic jog to escape, a voice calling out from behind forced him to a brutal halt.

“Alex.”

He bit down on his lip so hard he tasted blood.

Don’t look back. Just pretend you didn’t hear him and keep walking.

Despite his desperate internal commands, his traitorous body froze.

“Are you still sick?” Nathan asked.

The Beta was standing directly behind him. Staring down into the pale, flawless face looking slightly up at him, Alex frantically shook his head.

“No, I just… I just have an upset stomach.”

“I didn’t pack any digestion medicine. Should I go buy you some?” Nathan offered quietly.

I can’t do this.

“There’s no need. I can take care of it myself,” Alex replied stiffly.

I can’t stop liking you.

“I’m totally fine. Hurry up and go back, Jessica is probably waiting for you.”

And I definitely can’t bear to watch you with your girlfriend.

“I’ll see you later,” Alex choked out.

As long as I have to look at your face… I’ll never be able to do it.

Without waiting for a response, Alex violently turned his body away. Whether Nathan had called out his name again as he fled, Alex couldn’t be entirely sure.

☂