Chapter 14

When they finally met for a drive at the end of the second week, Si-woon caught Je-hee’s eyes lingering on his grown-out bangs the moment the older man climbed into the passenger seat.

“Have you been keeping well, Je-hee-ssi?” Si-woon asked quietly.

“…I’m not sure,” Je-hee answered with disarming honesty, his gaze softening. “What about you, Si-woon-ssi?”

“Uh… about the same for me, too.”

A faint smile touched the corner of Si-woon’s mouth, and before pulling out of the lot, he let his eyes linger on Je-hee’s face a beat longer than usual—until Je-hee widened his eyes in feigned innocence and touched his own cheek. “Is there something on my face?”

Facing the windshield at once as his ears warmed, Si-woon merged into traffic while Je-hee chuckled softly beside him.

By the time they pulled into the parking lot of Je-hee’s apartment complex at the end of the drive, the hour wasn’t particularly late—barely past eleven—and as Si-woon shifted into park, Je-hee unbuckled his seat belt with a polite nod. “Thank you for the ride tonight, Si-woon-ssi. You worked hard.”

“…?”

Glancing across the center console, Si-woon wondered why Je-hee had unbuckled his belt only to remain seated without reaching for the door handle—and why his own hands were moving so sluggishly as he engaged the parking brake and switched off the headlights.

Why isn’t he asking if I want to stay over tonight? Throughout the entire drive, Je-hee hadn’t breathed a word about him coming upstairs, and now he looked ready to say good night right here in the car. I packed that bag for nothing, then. Stealing a mortified glance toward the small canvas bag resting on the back seat—where he had tucked a fresh change of underwear and a shirt before leaving home, assuming without even being asked that he would spend the night at Je-hee’s apartment as usual—Si-woon felt heat creep up his neck. How presumptuous had he become, taking a client’s generosity for granted?

Swallowing his disappointment, he forced out the standard parting line. “…Please head inside safely.”

“…”

“…!”

When Je-hee still didn’t move, Si-woon looked up—and froze as their gazes locked across the dim cabin.

“Are you really going to just go home tonight?” Je-hee asked softly.

The quiet question seemed to strip away every layer of composure Si-woon had tried to hide behind. His jaw tightened, his lips parting without a sound, while across the console, Je-hee’s expression slowly brightened as if he had read every bit of Si-woon’s disappointment—and probably spotted the overnight bag in the back, too. He knows.

“Ahem.” Clearing his throat to cover a smile, Je-hee leaned across the center console, closing the distance between their seats until Si-woon’s heart gave a violent lurch against his ribs. Wait—is he going to kiss me?

“…Would you mind?” Je-hee whispered, stopping a breath away.

Before Si-woon could form a coherent reply, Je-hee’s lips brushed lightly against his. The contact was fleeting—warm and startlingly soft—and out of sheer reflex, Si-woon jerked back an inch against his headrest. At once, Je-hee halted and waited, his dark eyes searching Si-woon’s face.

“N-no, it wasn’t that I minded—you just startled me—”

“Then you don’t mind?” Moving closer again until the tips of their noses nearly brushed, Je-hee still waited for an explicit answer, his warm breath fanning across Si-woon’s lips.

“…No.”

In the dark mirrors of Je-hee’s eyes, faintly lit by the parking-lot lamps outside, Si-woon could see his own flushed reflection staring back.

“May I kiss you again?”

“Yes…” Si-woon’s voice trembled so badly it was barely audible.

“Ngh.” Tracing the shell of Si-woon’s ear with his fingertips, Je-hee pressed his mouth to his once more, and the lips Si-woon had been holding tightly closed parted of their own accord. When Je-hee caught his lower lip gently between his own and grazed it with the tip of his tongue, Si-woon went rigid from head to toe. Having reached thirty-one without ever kissing anyone like this, he had zero hope of feigning composure. How can two mouths touching feel like this?

“Haaah…”

Their breaths mingled in the narrow space above the center console, carrying the clean, familiar scent of Je-hee’s skin until Si-woon’s head spun. Sliding his palm from Si-woon’s ear around to cradle the nape of his neck, Je-hee tilted his head and deepened the kiss, coaxing and unhurried at first before growing steadily more insistent until Si-woon could scarcely draw a breath. Every quiet, wet sound echoed impossibly loud in the parked sedan; squeezing his eyes shut, Si-woon was conscious of nothing in the world beyond the heat of Je-hee’s mouth, the steady hand at the back of his neck, and the racing thud of his own pulse.

When he finally opened his eyes, clutching Je-hee by both forearms to keep himself anchored, the sight of the man so close—the straight line of his nose, the dark sweep of his lashes, the uncharacteristically grave intensity of his expression—held Si-woon completely spellbound. Pressing one last brief kiss to the corner of his mouth, Je-hee drew back just an inch, his gaze dropping to Si-woon’s swollen lips before rising to meet his eyes. Perhaps noticing how badly Si-woon’s hands were shaking against his sleeves, he held back from kissing him again, a restraint that left Si-woon almost as flustered as the kiss itself.

“Well? Have you looked your fill?” Je-hee teased softly.

“Pardon? At what…?”

“My face. You looked completely lost in thought just now.” Je-hee’s eyes curved with unmistakable amusement.

“…!” Jerking back into his seat as his cheeks went scarlet, Si-woon fumbled for an excuse. “Th-that… I’m sorry.” He could hardly deny that he had been staring straight at the man’s face like someone bewitched—though he would rather die than admit aloud that he had been thinking how unfairly handsome Je-hee was up close.

“What on earth is there to apologize for?” Stealing another quick peck across the console, Je-hee pressed his damp lips together with a shameless grin. “You’re welcome to stare at my face every single day.”

“Th-that really isn’t neces—”

“So long as you pay a little tuition in kisses every now and then.”

Left opening and closing his mouth like a fish at the brazen remark, Si-woon suddenly burst out laughing. This man really is unbelievable… It was impossible to reconcile this bold, teasing man with the polite, distant passenger who had stood freezing in the Naeju parking lot that first night—yet for the first time in longer than he could remember, Si-woon had forgotten all his worries enough to laugh without holding back.

Watching him with softened eyes, Je-hee held out his hand across the console. “Shall we head upstairs?”

Placing his palm in Je-hee’s, Si-woon let their fingers twine together, his chest tightening at how naturally the warmth fit his hand.

* * *

He looks much healthier lately, doesn’t he?

Comparing the man beside him to the gaunt, hollow-eyed driver he had first met in Naeju, Je-hee nodded to himself in quiet satisfaction. Perhaps their regular weekend meals had finally begun to pay off; a hint of healthy fullness had returned to Si-woon’s cheeks, softening the sharp angles of his jaw. Anyone who saw him only in passing might have missed the change, but Je-hee had been studying that face for months. More than once, he had fought the urge to reach out and poke those slightly rounder cheeks whenever Si-woon smiled—and his thighs, too, looked noticeably firmer beneath his slacks. Not that I’m deliberately staring at his thighs, Je-hee told himself, before wincing at how unconvincing the excuse sounded even in his own head.

“…”

Lately, the moment he let his guard down, his thoughts drifted in directions that made his ears burn. Biting his lower lip, Je-hee glanced down at his phone. In a way, having fewer provincial trips on the calendar this month had been a blessing; desire had an inconvenient habit of betraying itself in an unguarded glance, and he was determined to move at a pace that wouldn’t overwhelm Si-woon. Still, isn’t this a little extreme? In an age when everyone walked around glued to their smartphones, Si-woon somehow treated his phone like an emergency pager, sending barely a text or two all week.

I can’t take it anymore. Snatching his phone off the desk, Je-hee dialed before his conscience could talk him out of it. Even ten minutes in the car together—just a brief glimpse of Si-woon’s face—would be enough to quiet this restlessness.

When Si-woon arrived at the pickup point later that evening, very little about his outward routine had changed: the sparse words, the light winter jacket, the smooth, unhurried handling of the wheel. Yet the dark shadows beneath his eyes had faded noticeably, and that small discovery alone made Je-hee’s chest swell. He’s been sleeping better. Turning toward the side window before he could be caught staring, Je-hee realized he had only one immediate problem left to solve.

How on earth am I supposed to act drunk when I haven’t had a single drop?

Because three shots of soju were usually enough to knock him flat, he had never once needed to fake intoxication in his life. What would Si-woon think if he realized Je-hee had summoned him out into the cold on a weekday night without touching a drop of alcohol, purely because he wanted to see his face? To someone who worked as hard for every won as Si-woon did, a completely sober man hiring a designated driver for company would look like the height of frivolous waste. Je-hee had known that perfectly well before pressing dial—and he had called anyway.

“…”

A tense crease settled between Je-hee’s brows as he leaned back and shut his eyes. Pretending to doze did nothing to make him sleepy; instead, it only heightened his awareness of every breath Si-woon took beside him. When had the quiet cabin he loved begun to feel this suffocating? Right around the moment you started lying to him, obviously. Letting out a silent sigh, he resolved to keep his eyes shut and play dead until they reached his apartment complex.

“…Were you very tired today, Je-hee-ssi?” Si-woon’s quiet voice broke the hush.

Startled out of his reverie, Je-hee opened his eyes and caught Si-woon’s reflection in the darkened window. Si-woon rarely initiated a topic without a specific reason.

“…”

“You didn’t smell like you’d been drinking tonight, and yet you called for a ride…” Si-woon let the observation trail off gently. When Je-hee froze, scrambling in vain for a plausible excuse, Si-woon seemed to mistake the silence for displeasure and lowered his gaze to the steering wheel, his shoulders tightening. “…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry or make you uncomfortable.”

Folding his arms more tightly across his chest with his eyes shut, Je-hee cursed himself silently. Far from feeling offended by the question, he had simply been caught red-handed without an alibi—and now poor Si-woon looked as if he were kicking himself all the way down the expressway for speaking out of turn. For the first time in months, even the low murmur of the radio couldn’t ease the awkwardness hanging between their seats.

When the sedan finally glided into a parking space at Je-hee’s complex and the engine shut off, Si-woon called out hesitantly, “…Je-hee-ssi?”

“…”

After a long pause, just as Si-woon reached for his door handle as if preparing to step out and wake him from the outside, Je-hee gave up on the charade and opened his eyes. “You were right.”

Turning halfway back in his seat, Si-woon blinked. “Pardon? What did you say?”

“I didn’t drink tonight,” Je-hee admitted without a shred of evasion, meeting his gaze directly.

Staring at him in plain confusion—evidently startled to realize his passenger had been awake the entire time—Si-woon asked, “Then why did you…?”

“Because I wanted to see you. That’s why I called.”

“…!”

“I didn’t have a business trip or a company dinner to use as an excuse this week—and I know how busy you are, Si-woon-ssi. I couldn’t bring myself to keep pestering you for dates during the day.”

“Uh…” Even as Je-hee felt the tips of his own ears burn at the blunt confession, Si-woon lifted a hand to cover the lower half of his flushing face.

“Why are you hiding your face?” Je-hee asked softly.

“Just… because.”

“Do you dislike hearing that?”

“No, it isn’t that—”

As Je-hee leaned across the console, Si-woon let his eyelids fall shut, leaning in a fraction instead of flinching back. When their lips met, the kiss was unhurried and warm.

“…Is this all right?” Je-hee murmured against his mouth.

Si-woon gave a small, silent nod.

“Ngh.” Sweeping the tip of his tongue lightly across Si-woon’s dry lips, Je-hee felt a shiver run through the younger man’s shoulders. Pressing a line of soft kisses along Si-woon’s jaw and the exposed column of his throat, Je-hee returned to catch his lower lip, drawing back slightly each time to wait until Si-woon asked for more himself.

“Hngh… a little more…” Si-woon whispered at last, reaching across to catch Je-hee around the waist with both hands.

A smile curved against Je-hee’s mouth, and in the next breath, his careful restraint vanished. Cradling the back of Si-woon’s neck in one palm, he pressed closer over the center console, slanting his mouth deeper over Si-woon’s until both of their breaths came ragged in the dim cabin. Never had Je-hee imagined Si-woon would answer him with such unguarded eagerness—clinging to his waist and clumsily, earnestly following the lead of his tongue until another ten seconds would have shredded the last of Je-hee’s self-control.

“Si-woon-ssi, hah… wait.” Catching Si-woon by both forearms, Je-hee forced himself to pull back an inch, his chest heaving as he rubbed a hand over his hot face. “Let’s… ahem. Let’s stop right here for tonight.” Never in his life had he been so grateful for a center console; had their lower bodies pressed together just now, there would have been no hiding how badly he wanted him.

Fumbling with his seat belt with scarlet ears, Si-woon blurted out of nowhere, “…If you use the service ten times, the eleventh ride is free.”

“What?” Je-hee stared at him, completely thrown by the non sequitur. Had he misread that kiss somehow?

“The designated-driving service,” Si-woon clarified, already pushing his door open and stepping out into the night air. “So whenever you want to see me… you can just call.”

By the time the meaning of those words registered, Si-woon was already striding briskly toward the complex gates. Lunging forward to go after him, Je-hee was jerked straight back into his seat by the shoulder strap he hadn’t even unbuckled. “Ha…” Slumping back against the headrest as the tension left his body in a rush, he let out a breathless laugh at the empty driver’s seat. “…He ran away.”

* * *