Chapter 1

Wasn’t it said that the words locked deep in a man’s gut had to be purged with drink?

Se-woong poured the clear liquid into his empty shot glass until it nearly spilled over the brim.

He was hardly one to hold his liquor, yet no matter how much he tipped down his throat, a drunken buzz showed no sign of taking hold. Far from emptying the words locked in his gut, even those lingering on the tip of his tongue were stubbornly forced back down his throat.

Se-woong could say with absolute certainty that he had never expected this relationship to endure across the years. The end of any romance that could never culminate in marriage was usually much the same, and the two of them could never marry in this lifetime. At least not on South Korean soil.

In truth, when the time inevitably came, they were always meant to drift apart naturally, gradually fading until they became strangers once more. Of course, he had wished that particular moment would arrive a little later. Every now and then, he had harbored the quiet hope that time might show him some small measure of grace.

“Woong-ah,” Shin murmured softly.

What love story could ever be called mundane? Theirs had been no exception.

At the Korea Military Academy, where men accounted for ninety percent of the student body, and where traditional masculinity and conservatism formed the unspoken hierarchy, the odds of two men falling in love—not out of camaraderie, but genuine romance—were vanishingly slim. While a rare few cadets, spurred by overflowing youthful vigor, were rumored to align their bodies rather than their hearts, that had never been the case for Se-woong and Lee Shin. Even if, in the end, they had become that very rarity.

Neither of them had ever questioned his sexual orientation. If anything, they had simply possessed zero interest in the matter. With no one of similar inclination around them, there had been no reason to dwell on it. Shin, in particular, was notorious for his womanizing. During the first semester of their freshman year, when cadets were barred from leaving campus, he had been the subject of constant gossip because a different woman came to visit him every single weekend.

Given that history, it was only natural that they could not take their mutual attraction at face value. Driven by an inexplicable irritation, they fought relentlessly. Lee Shin was renowned for his affable nature, yet whenever he crossed paths with Cha Se-woong, an uproar invariably ensued—leaving Se-woong saddled with a terrible reputation among the cadets.

Their environment was so austere that they agonized relentlessly over whether they were merely mistaking raw physical desire for affection. For a long time, each avoided the other to keep these unconventional feelings from being exposed. Even as they remained acutely conscious of each other’s every move, they had no choice but to deny it. Liking another man. Viewing their own emotions as an aberration, neither could bring himself to trust what he felt.

Even so, whenever they were together, the urge to touch grew unbearable. A restless anxiety flared under each other’s gaze, and bouts of petty jealousy surged with increasing frequency until they finally accepted that there was no running from this feeling. Above all, it was impossible to keep hiding a heart that was helplessly, desperately smitten.

A romance begun with such difficulty burned just as fiercely, desperately, and achingly. Then again, what lovers wouldn’t feel the same?

“Woong-ah, do you want to end this?”

How could I? Shin-ah, I…

Quietly meeting his gaze, Lee Shin had asked, but Se-woong could not bring himself to answer.

Beside him, Shin’s fingers had been gently combing through his jet-black hair, but that touch gradually slowed.

From beyond the thin sliding door partitioning the room, the slurred, incomprehensible muttering of a drunkard drifted in. Perhaps the drunken patron was staggering under his own weight, for the creaking of the wooden floorboards shifted from one spot to another. By the time the noise faded into the distance, Shin’s hand stilled entirely, coming to rest around the nape of Se-woong’s neck.

Feeling the faint, drawn-out exhale stir above the crown of his head, Se-woong bowed his neck deeply. The broad hand slid down from his hair to trace a slow path over his shoulder and down his back. It was not hard to foresee that this touch would linger, tormenting him with a deep and hollow ache for a long time to come.

Coming to a stop at his waist, Shin’s hand tightened with full force. Though the man naturally possessed immense grip strength and was gripping him deliberately harder now, Se-woong felt no pain whatsoever.

The words too heavy to dredge up from deep within his gut only continued to pile up.

And Lee Shin said nothing more.

Compared to how it all began, their parting was thoroughly anticlimactic.