Chapter 5

“Smells like shampoo.”

Burying his nose directly into the junction where Gi-hyeon’s nape met his hairline, Jo Yeon-oh mumbled the observation.

“I didn’t use shampoo; I washed my hair with soap. Stop being annoying and get off,” Gi-hyeon replied blandly.

They had left the hospital and were currently walking back to Gi-hyeon’s apartment. That a third-generation chaebol was commuting entirely on foot was absurd enough on its own. Gi-hyeon had absolutely no idea where Yeon-oh had abandoned his personal vehicle to hitch a ride in Beom-hee’s car instead. Thinking of Manager Yoo, who had undoubtedly been discarded right alongside the vehicle, Gi-hyeon felt a profound urge to offer the poor man his deepest condolences.

Gi-hyeon’s apartment was close enough to the hospital to commute on foot. Conversely, Jo Yeon-oh’s residence was nowhere near the area. He lived in a hyper-exclusive luxury villa overlooking the Han River, where the privacy of each household was ruthlessly guarded. Yet, the sheer absurdity of the Alpha stubbornly insisting on commuting “home” together every single time he visited the hospital was baffling, especially since the destination was always Gi-hyeon’s apartment.

While he undeniably cherished Yeon-oh’s company, the fact that the Alpha frequently crashed at his place instead of returning to his own sprawling estate was highly problematic. As a direct consequence, unless he was completely dead on his feet, Gi-hyeon was permanently trapped in a state of agonizingly light sleep. The mere knowledge that Jo Yeon-oh was lying right next to him was a relentless catalyst for insomnia.

Being a man himself, whenever Yeon-oh’s distinct scent saturated the bedsheets, Gi-hyeon was forced to endure the brutal reality of his own carnal desires violently shoving away any hope of sleep.

As a Beta, Gi-hyeon possessed absolutely no biological capacity to detect Yeon-oh’s actual pheromones. However, the intoxicating blend of Alpha-specific cologne, soap, and aftershave melting perfectly into his natural body heat created an incredibly deep, rich scent that always evoked a strangely visceral reaction.

When the dead of night settled over them, Gi-hyeon could practically feel Yeon-oh’s overwhelming presence through that scent alone. And when the Alpha mindlessly pulled him into an embrace in his sleep, it felt as though Jo Yeon-oh’s actual pheromones were violently pouring directly over his skin.

It was a terrifyingly potent world, one that So Gi-hyeon could never truly access even if he spent an eternity by the Alpha’s side. Just the agonizing delusion of that invisible world pressing down against his skin was enough to make his lower abdomen harden and his inner thighs clench tight, entirely without the other man’s consent.

Because of that, on days when exhaustion threatened to crush him, there were rare occasions when Gi-hyeon, the man who had harbored a desperate, one-sided love for over a decade, was forced to push Jo Yeon-oh away.

“Go sleep at your own house tonight,” Gi-hyeon instructed.

Arching a single brow in genuine surprise, Yeon-oh let out a short scoff. His expression clearly demanded to know what the hell Gi-hyeon was talking about when they had already reached the building and were literally waiting for the elevator.

“So cold-blooded. This son of a bitch can’t sleep without his owner, you know.”

Tossing out the casually self-deprecating joke, Yeon-oh stepped into the open elevator first. Holding the doors open, he cocked his head and motioned for Gi-hyeon to hurry up and get in. He clearly viewed the eviction notice as nothing more than an idle threat. Exhaling a heavy sigh, Gi-hyeon muttered under his breath, “Who are you calling a son of a bitch? Real dogs would be deeply offended.”

He was desperately exhausted and yearned to finally get a good night’s sleep alone, yet he couldn’t ruthlessly turn the man away. The truth was, Jo Yeon-oh physically could not sleep unless he was anchored to So Gi-hyeon’s side. The Alpha suffered from a far more severe, crippling case of insomnia than Gi-hyeon did.

Technically speaking, Gi-hyeon didn’t even have actual insomnia. He simply couldn’t sleep because of the highly stimulating situation at night. During his lunch breaks at the hospital, he could easily scarf down his meal in three flat minutes, collapse onto a massage table, and be snoring the absolute second his eyes slid shut. Even during his active military days, he had been a master of power napping.

But Yeon-oh was fundamentally broken. Falling asleep was a grueling, agonizing war for him. For reasons entirely unknown to both of them, the only place he could achieve deep, restorative sleep was right next to So Gi-hyeon. Gifting the Alpha his own personal bedding had proven completely useless.

Watching the cycle repeat, Gi-hyeon eventually just surrendered and invited him over. He figured he could let the man crash at his place five days a week and ruthlessly kick him out for the remaining two just to catch his own breath.

However, Jo Yeon-oh greedily demanded all seven days.

While Gi-hyeon found the behavior incredibly shameless, he simultaneously understood it, as Yeon-oh was completely oblivious to the agonizing sexual frustration Gi-hyeon suffered.

While Yeon-oh had been brutally vicious during the initial confession, the foundation of his existence was built upon a profound, deeply rooted affection for So Gi-hyeon. Had he known about the grueling sexual tension his presence inflicted, he undoubtedly would have attempted to forcefully resolve it for him.

Yet, such a tragically misguided effort would only have plunged Gi-hyeon into an even deeper pit of misery. Gi-hyeon would infinitely prefer to stare at the ceiling all night with bloodshot eyes than watch Yeon-oh force himself through an agonizingly unnatural physical performance.

This was because So Gi-hyeon cherished Jo Yeon-oh just as deeply. Within a relationship that had evolved from childhood friends to practically family before finally bleeding into romance, a bond where a profound friendship still fiercely existed, Gi-hyeon wanted to protect Yeon-oh in his own unique way.

To reiterate: abstaining from sex wasn’t going to kill him. But a reality without Jo Yeon-oh? Well. Since he had never existed in a world without the Alpha, he couldn’t predict the exact fallout, but it was undeniably guaranteed to be infinitely more devastating than simply enduring blue balls.

Regardless, it was entirely logical that the typically perceptive Alpha couldn’t fathom Gi-hyeon’s suppressed desires. Jo Yeon-oh felt absolutely zero sexual attraction toward Gi-hyeon. Perhaps the true anomaly was Gi-hyeon himself, harboring dirty thoughts about his oldest friend.

Before tethering himself to Gi-hyeon, Yeon-oh had almost exclusively dated female Omegas. Based on his entire romantic history, the biological impossibility of a male Beta like So Gi-hyeon triggering his sexual desires was an absolute, undisputed fact.

Of course, as an Alpha, he was biologically condemned to endure a period of violently excessive lust completely independent of personal preference. Tragically, Yeon-oh’s rut cycles were brutally regular. To combat this, he diligently consumed a custom-formulated suppressant prescribed by the foremost authority in pheromone medicine at Haeseong Hospital, a drug meticulously engineered exclusively for Jo Yeon-oh by a fully mobilized team of clinical specialists, boasting an immaculate success rate.

Gi-hyeon had no idea how the Alpha managed his mundane, day-to-day urges, but one thing was certain: Yeon-oh never directed them at him. Since Gi-hyeon was frequently consumed by lust despite having to drain his energy daily through punishing rehabilitation exercises for his ankle, he often caught himself wondering if Jo Yeon-oh simply possessed a naturally abysmal sex drive. The Alpha seemed to have possessed an incredibly vigorous appetite during his past relationships, leaving Gi-hyeon to ponder if age had mysteriously castrated him.

In any case, possessing a near-extinct libido himself, Yeon-oh likely assumed So Gi-hyeon operated on the exact same frequency. Much like two chimney sweeps staring at each other’s faces to gauge the soot on their own, humans naturally project their own internal baselines onto others. Devoid of his own carnal urges, Yeon-oh simply projected that absolute innocence onto Gi-hyeon.

Consequently, Gi-hyeon never bothered explaining how agonizingly hard his lower abdomen grew, how violently his inner thighs clenched every single time the Alpha pulled him into an embrace, or how dangerously intoxicating his scent truly was.

I can just take care of it myself anyway…

This quiet resignation was only possible because Gi-hyeon’s baseline sex drive was naturally lower than average. Furthermore, forcing his confession upon the man that day had been greedy enough. Gi-hyeon absolutely refused to demand anything more.

But no matter how fiercely he rationalized it, pent-up frustration was still pent-up frustration. Having fully intended to wring one out before going to sleep tonight, Gi-hyeon watched Yeon-oh naturally marching toward his apartment and let out a quiet sigh. Judging by the stubborn set of the bastard’s jaw, ruthlessly kicking him out tonight was clearly a lost cause.

“…Seriously, you sly bastard. Don’t you feel like you’re wasting your own rent money? You literally sleep at my place every single night.”

“Why would it be a waste? It’s not like I bought it with my own money.”

“Exactly. So why abandon your luxurious mansion to constantly leech off a humble commoner’s shabby apartment?”

“You sure talk a lot, Dr. So.”

The elevator chimed as it arrived at Gi-hyeon’s floor, and Yeon-oh immediately stepped out, casually dismissing the interrogation. Striding confidently toward the door, he punched in the passcode on the digital lock. Back when Gi-hyeon first moved in, he had blindly mashed random numbers into the keypad purely for convenience, permanently cementing it as his passcode.

He frequently thought about changing it, but given his profound laziness regarding trivial matters, he constantly forgot. While Gi-hyeon idly realized that even his own passcode had effectively been hijacked by Jo Yeon-oh’s whims, the Alpha had already pushed the door open and strolled inside as if he owned the place.

“I honestly can’t tell who the actual landlord is anymore.”

“You should come over to my place sometimes too. Who’s stopping you?”

It was a brazen counterattack: if Gi-hyeon felt so victimized, he was more than welcome to sleep over at the Alpha’s estate instead. Yeon-oh’s attitude practically screamed that the physical location was entirely irrelevant as long as So Gi-hyeon was there. To prove this point, Jo Yeon-oh constantly extended invitations to his own house.

These were invitations Gi-hyeon was forced to reject every single time. It was agonizing enough trying to suppress his urges here; walking blindly into a space heavily saturated with the violently potent scent of Jo Yeon-oh was a recipe for absolute disaster.

Sometimes, while wearing a perfectly fabricated mask of indifference just to blatantly stare at Jo Yeon-oh’s body, Gi-hyeon genuinely felt like the living embodiment of the phrase “trust no one.” The sheer absurdity of meticulously guarding his own chastity when Jo Yeon-oh had absolutely zero intention of feeding him the rice cake[1] in the first place was a darkly comedic irony.

“I’m going to wash my hands, so think about what you want to eat.”

Having already entered, Jo Yeon-oh was casually hanging his suit jacket inside the expensive clothing care system[2] he had personally purchased with his own money for the apartment. As the Alpha tossed out the instruction and headed toward the bathroom, Gi-hyeon grabbed the handwash from the kitchen sink to quickly clean his own hands.

“I have no appetite,” Gi-hyeon murmured quietly.

“Stop spewing absolute bullshit—”

The muffled retort echoed from deep within the bathroom. The absolute, unyielding certainty in Yeon-oh’s voice, as if Gi-hyeon’s lack of appetite was the most hilarious lie he had ever heard, coaxed a faint smirk from his lips.

But it was the absolute truth. Lately, his body temperature had been running unnaturally high, and his overall condition felt chronically lethargic. Perhaps due to the loss of appetite, he had been leaving half his meals untouched, resulting in noticeable weight loss.

I can’t afford to lose muscle mass.

Considering the state of his ankle, he desperately needed to increase his strength training, but dragging himself home after work left him completely drained. However, since Jo Yeon-oh was an incredibly stubborn bastard who ruthlessly enforced his will, Gi-hyeon was doomed to violently force tasteless food down his throat tonight as well.

A soft sigh slipped past his lips. Inside the glass tank, the goldfish continued their endless, silent laps, not even producing the sound of rising bubbles. Staring blankly at their contained existence, a sudden, quiet question surfaced in his mind.

Am I exhausted right now?

But of what?

But from where?

What exactly was draining So Gi-hyeon, and where was this profound fatigue stemming from? Confronted by a question he fundamentally could not answer, Gi-hyeon silently closed his mouth.